The beginning of the end

I've set out on a journey. One that involves parts of India and also parts of my own mind. Sometimes, only a journey into the world can lead you to discover the world within your own head. And so I journey through this beautiful land while I trudge through the deepest regions of my mind.

And if a journey is to be really fruitful, you must carry only what you need. That means shedding excess baggage and unwanted things. Both without and within.

And so I quit my job. Have disposed of a lot of my belongings, called off a relationship, and set out. The only baggage I now carry lies on my back.

What I intend to achieve, I don't know. But something deep within me needed this purge. This trial by fire. This rite of passage.

And the thing is that other, more mysterious forces seem to be aligning to support my cause. The weather for one. This is when it starts getting really hot in Kerala. But still I reached Cochin to see storm clouds on the horizon. That night the weather outside reflected the tumult within. I have changed in just 4 days. I seem to have forgotten how to write.

Earlier it was easy. Just string some nive sounding words together and add a dsh of alliteration and you're almost there. Now when I turn back to the old posts I have put up, it just seems to be show offy. As if I was using passably good language, but saying nothing. It was pure advertising writing. Non commital and nonsensical.

I want now to write with meaning. With points of views that have been stewing inside me for a while. Processed, distilled, brought down to its lowest common denominator. Not just some passing thought that I considered writing about.

I need to find my philosophy. My zen. So that my writing can show maturity rather than meter. So that it can become less comercial and more personal.

I've moved on from Cochin and am in Kovalam at the moment. The weather seems to have followed me. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad. The waves now go up to about 6 feet. I got washed out and humbled thrice today. The mighty George with his board reduced to a spluttering idiot by a wall of water. I've gone under, got spun, battered and finally thrown onto the sandbank. And all I have to show for it is a big smile and a handful of bruises. But I'm loving it.