Friday, March 31, 2006

The end of a relationship

I've been so pissed off with my mobile service provider, Airtel that I decided to end their services. This is the venom-spewing letter I wrote to the motherfuckers at Airtel. May you fry in hell.

"To whoever it may concern,


I would like to bring to your notice that I have held an Airtel connection for the last 8 months. (Name: George Koshy, Phone no. 9880489606)



These 8 months have been the most excruciatingly painful months I have ever been with a mobile provider. I would rather be hung by my testicles from a thorn tree with spikes positioned under my ass, than ever set foot into an Airtel office again. I would rather recommend castration with a blunt butter knife, to my friends, than your connection. You
have reached new and painfully frustrating heights in your service. So much so that I have begun to dread the very thought that I might encounter one of your hoardings or your ads during the duration of my day.


A few of the many reasons:

1.
It started with the gentleman who came to take my details and give me the new connection. He wanted my credit card details but didn't mention to me that the bill will automatically debited to my card. I did not allow this standing instruction. It was carried forward by you without
my consent. This is a legal fraud and I can take you to court for this.


2.
I wanted my bills sent to my office and not my residence. This I put forward clearly to the same gentleman, who nodded his head vigorously but payed no heed. The next Month I get a phone call from customer care, asking if I have received my bill at my residence address. Imagine my surprise. I had clearly marked in the Application Form that I wanted my bills sent to my office, since my office pays it. Still, some incompetent minion in your mindless company decided to choose my residence address over my official address.


3.
It took 6 months for you to finally correct my address. During which I received no bills. Even of the requested duplicate bills, only 2 were received. Consequently, I have had to pay for the bills from my pocket.


4.
You have been giving out my number to every telecaller possible. Consequently I have been receiving phone calls from several unsavoury callers asking me if I wanted a new credit card, new case of condoms, a new pet dog and all sorts of other dubious offers. I'm not even beginning to talk about the new offer SMSs that I kept getting by the bushels every day.



For these and several more reasons, I wish to terminate my account with you IMMEDIATELY. With effect from today.



I have switched back to Hutch and am very very happy.



I hate you people so much that If I ever have a son, I will forgive him for any tresspasses - for being a cunt, for being a drug addict, for voting BJP, for being a serial killer, for being a rapist, for being a politician... anything but taking an Airtel Connection. There is no excuse for that.

Thank you and good riddance,

George Koshy

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