I suffer from drunken SMS syndrome. A seriously debilitating disease that affects me almost every night. In the past my cellphone didn't support saving outgoing sms and so the next morning i was content with just reading the reaction to the chaos I had caused. My new cellphone is rather unforgiving that way. Like a graphite shaft 1 wood for a 200 yard shot instead of a metal shaft. You can now realize your mistake the instant you make it. And consequently live with it for the duration of the week.
Ususally, with my old phone, I would send out some nonsensical love essemmesses to women I just recently met and therefore screw up any chances of conjugal bliss. For that matter conjugation at all.
Now I can take corrective measures in the morning, when after a close scrutiny of the sent messages i can conjure up an alibi for the madness of the night before. Gettng dumped, losing a close uncle, (And believe me I have a lot of uncles to lose), being witness to the sight of my friend's dog become a roadkill, (I also have many friends), and my trump card, domestic violence and sexual abuse. I've actually gotten over the last two but it's a good card to flash when it's convenient.
The one good thing that comes of this affliction is that I have realized that I'm deep down a very deep person. I'm not superficial at all. Once drunk, I care for neither race nor religion, age or state of physical well being, economic disparity or beauty. I sms regardless of the fact that the woman I'm smsing is as old as my grandmother's nanny or the fact that she has a Saigon eye, a Normandy leg and a retractable clit. My emotions are not swayed by any of these factors.
It's only when the roosters come home to crow in the morning that I realize my folly and the magnitude of the blunder I've made.
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